Old, Stable, and Reformed-- Personal Journey

I am reformed. I have been reformed since my early days of college (a long time ago, on a planet far, far away). In some respects it was a big change for me as I moved from a confused fundamentalist to a more clear thinking reformed perspective, but in other respects it was simply dealing logically and consistently with the deepest concerns of life.

The move officially began with an effort to clearly understand the gospel as the Bible presents it rather than the gospel that had permeated the particular Christian subculture that I had been born into. I wanted to understand the gospel for several reasons. First, because I was plagued with lack of assurance. I had never had the dramatic emotional experience that I had been hearing in the testimony conversion stories in the churches that I was attending. I wanted a biblical assurance that was rooted in something outside of me, apart from my feelings and performance (or lack thereof). Second, I wanted a gospel that was firmly planted within the entire context and flow of the big biblical story. The gospel that I had heard was more a collection of snippets, slogans, and potpourri (I always wanted to use this word). Third, I wanted a "Big Gospel" that was mysterious, audacious, and had operative roots outside the salesmanship and persuasiveness of men. A gospel that was consistent with Jesus' words, consistent with the Apostles' words, and consistent with the formulations and clarifications of the Church Fathers. A time tested and confirmed formulation of the gospel.

Some of the early questions/issues were: What was the goal of the gospel: my eternal safety or God's glory? What was the tipping point of the gospel: my decision or the Spirit's sovereign work? What was the security of the gospel: My conviction and lack of doubt or the sufficient priestly work of Jesus? What was the presentation of the gospel: appeal to man's felt needs or informing man of God's demands upon him (possibly un-felt needs). What was the authoritative standard for the gospel: my philosophical reasoning and rationalizations or the clear statements of the biblical texts? The question ultimately boiled down to: Whose gospel was it anyway: mine or God's?

I am reformed, so you know the answer to the question. The gospel is God's. It is God's whether I like it, accept it, proclaim it or not. Facts are facts.